People are dumb.
That’s just the fact of life. They make mistakes and they do things wrong and they hurt others without trying to and they say the wrong things and they leave when they’re supposed to stay and they act stupid and that’s just the fact of life. People are just not it sometimes.
But that doesn’t mean we should love them any less. That doesn’t mean we have the right to feel angry or hold grudges or sulk or walk away self-righteous and haughty. That doesn’t mean they don’t like us anymore or that they’re purposefully trying to do things wrong or that we are not good enough for them.
People change. And that makes them dumb. Because, hey, we’re still here like, watching them become something different. It’s frustrating. I mean, who gave them license to change? We had a friendship and then something happened and now they’re becoming someone I don’t even know anymore? Rude.
Friends that you’ve known for years are the best. And worst. Because most of the time, as y’all grow up together, you see that person go through phases and it’s just cool going through all of these things together. But what happens when they go through something and you don’t, so they go through a new phase without you? That feeling… sucks. After all that time, after all those years, and yet this person has the audacity to do this thing, leaving you in the dust.
And you think you know a person.
Honestly, there is such a bitter taste knowing that they’re changing and you’re not. That they’re growing in a way that you just won’t be able to relate to. They’re going in a direction that doesn’t exactly include you, and you can try to force your way in but we all know the pain of being spat right out. There’s just no room for your left in their life.
So you get mad. And frustrated. That person is YOUR person. Your friendship has lasted FOREVER. Doesn’t matter what else they’re going through, you are consumed with trying to get your friend back and put your relationship back to the point before they went through their “thing” that brought them to where they currently are.
And you get madder because it’s just not working.
They have changed and they don’t want to hear what you have to say. They’ve moved on and you’re still trying to hold on to the past and they just don’t care.
People are so, so dumb.
This is when you have to come into the light.
This is life.
Life can suck, but in the end, you really just have to live it instead of fight it.
Friendship is funny in that, you can love a person so much and have so many memories with them… and yet, it can just as quietly as it snuck in, creep away, and you don’t realize it until it’s already too far gone. It’s one of those things that you really can’t control. You can try to do everything you can to try to keep it alive and running, and it will still come to what it will come to. There is no changing what is meant to be.
And that’s okay. You need to let it go.
Friends are not prisoners that you keep captive forever and ever, amen. Friends are gifts. You will have friends in your life that you needed or that needed you, and when that need is met that’s that.
There is no such thing as a perfect person (besides Jesus). We are all constantly and continually growing and changing and THAT’S GOOD. But it hurts. And it hurts when others grow and leave. But you can’t stop someone else’s growth because you’re holding on to a friendship that blossomed and wilted. We as people can get so caught up in the temporary that we start holding on to things, which then stunts our own growth.
We need to learn to accept what happens and chose to grow alongside the different paths that we are all on. We are never going to be on the same road as other people because we are all unique that way. Our lives and destinies vary and that’s beauty and art and wonder.
We have to learn to be happy and thankful for that art.
Or else, we’re just watering bitterness in our souls and what beauty is in that? None. So cherish your friendships, present, and past, but don’t tarnish them by keeping them in a vice-like grip; learn to love and let go. And watch how you all will grow. May not be in the same direction, but it’s not them, it’s not you… it’s just the fact of life.